John Van Millwood

 is Maurice's theatrical rival. He was Mr. Torso from Tasmania.

Maurice has a new personal secretary, Abigail Beecham, with whom he also has a romantic relationship. This enrages Endora who threatens divorce. Samantha suggests another tactic, one which sends her and Endora into gales of laughter.

Endora returns with John Van Millwood. Maurice is disgusted, but instantly jealous. John and Maurice treat each other with disdain and mock the other's performance of Romeo's soliloquy.

Tired of the arguing, Abigail decides to leave. John charms her and they leave together.